Surreal!

This is so surreal!

My last post on this blog was exactly on the same date in 2011!!!
9 years have passed...& how!

The world is a different place!
My world is a different place!
People who took center stage back then have moved away...
Some people have gotten closer
New people have come into my life...

I am older today
Probably not wiser..
But definitely less naive.
The innocence has shut itself in a quiet corner somewhere...
An act of self conservation maybe...At least it's not dead (small victories)

Losses n life lessons have reshaped aspirations,
Reality has reshaped dreams.

Thankfully, "Hope" survived the decade...
I do still believe..
I do still hope..
That eventually,
All will be well..

My AHA moment!

:)

I know to anyone reading my blog (If anyone actually is :P) this may sound corny, cheesy n tacky...
But I just had an AHA moment!!!

I had to write it down so I could come back n read it later if ever I forgot this life lesson!
(Thank you Internet!)

   Well, I was having one of those sleepless nights when I finally decided to just get up n quit trying further to sleep.

I had recently downloaded some of  Oprah's farewell season episodes
(I tend to watch a lot of stuff especially around my exams...need something to procrastinate!!!:P)

While scrolling through the episode list to get some life inspiration,  I saw this episode titled
                                                     'LOVE STORY REUNITES!' 
I assumed that probably it's one of those episodes where long lost lovers meet on the set of Oprah <3
 The romantic in me killed the cynic & chose to check out romance instead of self-help!
:) Typical!!!:P

  Anyway, I was in for a surprise when I realized that actually the episode was a literal Reunion of the lead pairs of the famous movie-The Love Story !
  Now I had not seen the movie but I've most definitely read the book as a teenager
 As a matter of fact, I have it on my pillow already looking at me while I type this!
(I pulled it out as soon as I finished the episode!!!I love paperback!:P)

    Well, it was a wonderful episode watching Ali McGraw's talk about how she had found peace with herself & to watch Ryan O'Neal talk with so much love for Farrah Fawcett (his partner who died of cancer last year) <3

But something from the show just resonated with me & I think it probably will with anyone who watched the episode or is reading this...

   If you have read the book or even seen the movie, you would most definitely remember when Jenny says to Oliver,"Love is never having to say sorry!"
  :)
 
I confess that when I had first read this at 16 yrs of age, I went ,  "WOW"
I mean imagine being so purely in love when u don't need to apologize! Back then, I wondered if such love actually happens to people n worse, if I would ever experience it?
:P

Years later , when I'm not a relationship-virgin anymore (:P...I just coined this word n I love it!It's so apt!)
So, ya, now that m not a relationship-virgin anymore, I actually smirked when they played that video...& it was refreshing to see Oprah n Ali address it...

I found an excerpt on www.oprah.com & this is how it went:

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Ali-MacGraws-Infamous-Movie-Line-Video

:)

It's true!
It definitely doesn't make sense !
In any relationship, when you mess up, you need to own up your mistakes and apologize. Not just in words, you need to ensure that your actions also follow through!
It ain't easy...but neither is Life !

Well, turns out with Oprah , even romance can be enlightening!!!
She is a gift <3

New Year Resolutions Revised!!!

:)

Well...hope everyone's new year resolutions are coming along better than mine:P

I probably broke mine while the clock struck 12 :((
I guess it was a bit too extreme for my personality type..need to take some baby steps in that direction (note to future self!)

:)
Well, lesson learnt...so some doable-self-helping resolutions coming up:

* Firstly, give some serious thought to what kind of professional image I want to build...
I mean at least get a skeletal idea in place...
6 months left for graduation...n unlike any other field where you are just a fresh chip,all full of hope & still a lot to learn before you carve a niche for yourself, Medicine is more like the minute you graduate, you r SUPPOSEDLY ready to deal with REAL LIVES (sweaty palms!!!)
~So, need to figure what kind of doc m gonna be...

*kinda go easy on the detailing....:)
Again...that's kinda attributed to my PROBLEM CHILD image :)
I realized..more I concentrate on worrying about the details, longer it takes for me to be able to see the big picture ...n from experience, that delay has cost me...a lot more than I care to admit!
~So, I now plan to basically try to get the big picture right...
If the important things fall in place, the details will fit...
n even if they don't...they wont really disrupt the important things that really matter!

*Slightly Back off in the matters of the heart!
:D
No......No troubles in paradise.....
It's just that this year I rather bring the focus on myself..as in my career n my priorities...
Frankly, the reason, m even confident to put this in my list of resolutions is because of My Awesome Bf ( I know u hate it Sweetie...it's okie..live with it!!!:P)
I don't know if anyone relates, but often in my life when I want to change my focus on personal growth, I fear that my relationships might suffer n bear the brunt of the neglect...
I realize that to overcome this insecurity , you don't need just self- belief but also a strong support system
n touch wood...I've mine in place:*
~So m planning to cash on it n give my career n myself some more focus this year!

*Spend loads of quality time with family...including the extended family!
(even the ones I am not too fond of....cos what the hell...they are family!!!:P)

I've been out of the country for over 5 years & have missed practically every family gatherings, weddings...n even those 'how-have-you-been" phone calls...
This may seem kinda over sentimental to some but I can't help but think of all the times when my parents attended family events watching other daughters with their parents...
I know how my Ma would get all misty eyed & my dad would give me a random call just to check on me...:)
~I just wanna be there for them now!!!
Anniversaries...birthdays...everything!:)
Don't mean to sound filmy but at the end of the day, "It is All About Loving Your Family ! ":D

*Have a better idea of what's going on with my friends...Everyone is soo busy with their lives and me being away does not give me the front row seats anymore in their lives...I don't want to lose out on important friendships just because of something silly like distance!

~in short be more in touch with them!
No excuses!!!!

*Get healthy...better eating habits, some form of exercise!

*Get a Good Wardrobe! (Not expensive....but GOOD!)

*Read more (anything apart from medicine...maybe venture slightly into non-fiction...I mean can't be too bad if so many adults recommend it)

* N lastly....write more...write better!!!!:P

Wish me luck!

Happy New Year!!!

New Year..New beginnings...new attempts to reboot the crashing systems :)

I am a sucker for traditions...a part of me still believes in the myth that whatever you do on your new year , the pattern will stick for the entire year!
This year....I've decided to do something very unlike me...TO NOT ASK/ EXPECT...

I want to see what life & people around me have to offer me without me asking for it...
It often happens with alot of us that you feel like u give too much n don't get enough back . This feeling brings about a frustration & then we start seeking attention , expect favors to be returned...
& when that doesn't happen , we end up hurt , disappointed & alone...

I'm trying out this experiment....to not to ask.. to not expect...to give how much I want to ..while keeping in mind that even if I don't get anything in return , I cannot ask...

I'm not trying to judge life or people in my life or score them..this ain't a test for them..but a challenge for me..
I need to try and not expect...that way whatever I may get...would be a wonderful surprise...a gift!

I know this isn't going to be easy...you'd know if u knew me :D
I am a girl with way too many expectations from myself, from people around me and from life itself!

I  hope I can keep my Resolution and learn something on the way!!!
Wish me luck...:)

& a very Happy New Year to you too!

Some things men can learn....

Well, don't know what to really blog about tonight.... my brain has been a muddle....

I have been trying hard to understand the human male brain !
I know... I know...it's uncomplicated and simple... there are fewer cross links... there are just straight pathways...black or white....red or purple....there r no grays or mauve....
Even peach is always just a fruit n not a color!!!

As someone from the opposite gender, it is this simplicity that astounds me...
I mean, to a woman...there are 1000 shades between black & white...& loads between red n purple...

No..this is not a sexist rant...Science supports this fact!
Physics has established that too many wavelengths exist between black n white & between red n purple .Therefore way too many shades exist between the colors.

Similarly, from biology we know that, more evolved the neurological system is,  the more cross pathways there are in the brain helping it process more information.

Thus, proving that most female brains are more evolved .
It isn't asking a lot to hope and expect the male brain to catch up :P

No..no...we are not asking you to appreciate the different colors like mauve,burgundy or lavender....That maybe a lot to ask for ...But why not start with the simplest of things???

:)

Start by learning to cross reference from past experiences...or better ,  get slightly intuitive (for those unsure about what that is , it means to know what she wants without her having to ask!)

For example, you know that ghosts scare her, try cross referencing that information while planning your next date...Don't insist on watching Annabelle or going to House of Horror!!!
Instead, take her for the movie that she's been wanting to see (she hasn't been bugging you with " I sooo wanna see that movie" just so that she has to end up watching it alone! She's trying to give you a hint!)

Remember,  while watching almost any romantic movie when you see her sigh or her eyes moisten up...its not just because she's happy for the girl in the film...but it could be because she wants to be that girl....
No! I don't think she actually wants you to role play SRK 4m Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum or  Gerard Butler from P.S I Love You!!!
But she's probably hoping for you to be more considerate n romantic than you already are...

Even on a scale of 1 to 10 ,if you think that you stand a solid 8...she probably wishes u were a 9!:)

No!
This is not over expectations!It's just being hopeful and knowing your worth...it's good for everyone involved. It uplifts and improves the game :)

Also boys, it is annoying whenever we ask you what do you want for your birthday?or what do you wanna do for the anniversary ?
Your answer is always the same..."I Dunno"!

I mean Seriously dude!Plan a little...Imagine a little!
You needn't be the mills n boon  perfect guy....but anything beyond the usual will be great!

Look, I m not trying to be biased here..
I mean if you are with someone who's asking you or demanding that you up your game but herself is not putting in efforts, it is unreasonable...
But if you are with someone who is trying...to make your day a little better , no harm in making small changes to show you care too <3

Lastly, know this:

The most important thing in your love story is not "The Happily Ever After!"
But it is the part where we can look back & say...

"He loved me & was there for me....even when I was silly, wrong & naive!"

Something IS better than nothing

I often tend to wonder if in my attempt to achieve perfection , am I damaging something that is ALMOST perfect???

like when you have some play-doh ( that colorful gooey stuff that u once played with as a child <3 )  & you are trying so hard to make something awesome out of it.
You maybe end up making a cute cat. However you were probably aiming to make a lion!
And in the process of turning that cute kitty into a fierce lion you damage your li'l cat model & now are nowhere near a lion :(

I know this probably comes across as too metaphorical.
What I am trying to say is that maybe " SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING" isn't such a bad idea..
Some may argue that this outlook is not what creates genius & if you settle for little, you cannot achieve great things

Everyday life seems like a poker game... you don't know all your cards and often you are playing blind..

I guess a way out is to put on your poker face & put yourself out there....not that I mean go jump of a cliff without a damn parachute...or turn that pretty cat into a ball & restart anew (play-doh reference again!)

What I am saying is,
       Strive for your idea of perfection..but don't get reckless....Don't destroy all you have built, all the progress you have made just because the final picture does not match your initial vision!
        Appreciate your journey and be grateful of the opportunities that brought you here.

I guess I'm going to continue working on turning my little play-doh kitty into the fierce lion I am hoping for...but in the process, I am going to be happy with my achievement & try not to irreversibly damage my kitty ;p a difficult  but not entirely impossible!!!

                

UNDO

How does one undo something...a line...a moment???

I ain't talking about time travelling of course (However appealing & tempting the idea may be).
What I am trying to ask is,

           ' Is there ever a way that something can truly be corrected or rectified?'

                                               HOW???

 How can one truly undo what has been done???
                     a word said? a thought imagined? a line heard?

I have realized, it can't ever happen.
At the most, what we can console ourselves is to Forget...n if possible forgive...
With Time, all is forgotten...but evidence will stay behind albeit in traces..

So maybe we should start becoming more aware of our words and actions. Let them steep for a while before we put them out in the universe to stay forever....